EXPERIMENT 2: Facebook

OBSERVATION

Sticking with the technology theme for now (I will revisit this later, too), facebook has become overwhelming and a bit stressful. The new timelines, status updates, tags, check-ins, private groups, games, ads, pokes... I have 209 friends, belong to 10 groups, like 45 pages, and have 15 photo albums with 234 pictures. I can't possibly keep up with all my 'friends.' (Which we all know doesn't mean they really are my friends!) I feel like I am missing important social events and can't give people the attention I want. Let's face it, we live in a technological age. You can sink or swim! Yes, writing a letter or actually calling a person is ideal, but my hand cramps after three sentences, my spelling is atrocious (yes, I was corrected on the spelling of that) thanks to spellcheck and autocorrect, and I never have a quiet moment with two kids and a full time job to talk more than a few minutes on the phone.

I love being able to archive my pictures and do use other services such as Picasa and Photobucket. But I'm realizing more and more how unsafe posting pictures can be. Some bereaved mothers groups I belong to have reported pictures of their children being stolen by 'trolls.' These sick people say awful things about these precious babies no longer here and the poor grieving mothers. It is awful. Plus I don't feel safe having my children's pictures available for anyone to look at or copy!

A facebook blackout is nice to do every once in a while, but then I find myself trying to catch up. So, I think the better option is to make some changes. I do realize this is a free service that I can opt out of and that no one is forcing me to be a part of it, but it does make keeping up with those I love extremely easy!

RESEARCH

Google "facebook addiction statistics". Or better yet, go to Google Scholar and type in "facebook and self image." Wow. Just wow. Articles discuss narcissism, self promotion, a need to 'belong', superficial relationships, hyper-sexuality (think girl taking her picture, holding her phone in front of a mirror, in some skimpy outfit or suggestive pose...duckface anyone?), lack of privacy or need to make everything public (do I need to know you have 'checked-in' at the post office?), civic engagement, political participation, and on and on and on! 

An article in European Psychiatry in 2010, looked at the case of a 24 year old woman who was spending five hours a day on facebook. They concluded that, in her situation, that the addiction was an "urge-driven disorder" with a strong compulsive component. Facebook was interfering with her life and daily functions, just like an alcohol or drug addiction would. You can read more about social networking and addictions here. 

So how many facebook members are there? (By the way, there is a facebook page for this question with over 900 likes!) According to an article on Digital Buzz, as of 2011, there are 500 million users, that is approximately 1 in every 13 people ON EARTH! I'm sure that doesn't count the pages by someone's kids or dog or multiple political, celebrity, and athlete pages. 

Like me, 200 million people check their facebook page from their phone, and 40% of 18-34 year olds check their accounts before getting out of bed. Guilty as charged. Approximately 700 BILLION minutes a month are spent on facebook. 

HYPOTHESIS

If I organize my facebook page, then it will simplify my life. 

EXPERIMENT

I will spend one day organizing my facebook page by deleting 'friends' I rarely communicate with, 'disliking' pages I never visit, leaving groups I don't participate in, and organizing my photos while placing viewing restrictions on certain albums. And I will post as my status asking those who have tagged pictures of my children to remove the tags for privacy and safety reasons. After a week I will check and then will remove them myself!

RESULTS

After spending a total of seven hours over four days, I now have 177 friends, belong to 9 groups, like 44 pages, and have 12 photo albums and 165 pictures. All my 'friends' are seperated into various categories such as: friends, family, the schools I attended, my profession, etc.  I untagged several pictures, but have lots more to go. Of course this doesn't remove the picture itself. I did send an email to family asking that they check their privacy settings and remove tags of the kids. I posted twice asking friends to untag pictures and to check their security settings if they have pictures of my children. I don't think one person untagged us! (A commentor on FB warned me of this.)

3/9/12 - After I did this experiment, I started thinking more and more about my FB usage. I have started to cut back to about 10-15 minutes a day. At first I felt bad that I had missed status updates, especially if a friend needed support or had a sick relative. But, I had to step back and think about what was important to me, which is my family! So, I'll continue to limit my FB time along with all the other people currently giving it up completely for Lint...which says something, doesn't it?

DISCUSSION

Do I feel my life has been simplified? Yes and no. My self-worth isn't tied to my facebook page...I think. But I do love to share funny stories, participate in civil debates and social justice, and show off my adorable children. Who doesn't like a few "likes" or comments?? I am not willing to drop off the grid, but do admire those that have no interest in facebook. But I don't feel I am addicted (famous last words?). Cleaning out my friend's list was actually a little stressful. I worried I would offend people. What if I needed to communicate with that person in the future and they shut me out because we were no longer 'friends?' The people I am friends with for professional reasons may come in handy in the future although I am on LinkedIn, so I keep them around. My 15 year high school reunion is coming up and, if I all of a sudden decide to attend, will people look at me with a knowing eye (in the voice of some Dicken's character, "Yooooouuuuu deleted me from faaaacccceeeebbbbooookkkk!"). 

On the plus side I do feel better about my pictures and group participation. I am not as overwhelmed when checking status updates because the list is not as daunting. I like that my pictures are archived and organized. Changing up my security settings so certain groups can view certain information or pictures makes me feel a little safer (false security much?). 

So I wouldn't say that my life has been simplified because I organized and cleaned out my facebook page. Not being ON facebook would probably do that. Maybe I should have focused my experiment on the amount of time I spend on facebook, which is probably a total 45 minutes over an entire day; five minutes here, ten there--primarily when I have been rocking my daughter to sleep and she's in that twilight stage. But I'm not willing to delete my account, so maybe I am an addict. Maybe I should work on limiting how often I hit the blue and white 'f' on my phone...but it is oh-so-easy! 

Participating in this experiment did teach me a little lesson about what and who I value; the good and bad. I've joined groups that attempt social change or support other grieving mothers. But ultimately I didn't 'like' the conclusion I came to. Granted I check my page during lunch and during breaks at work, but I also do it at home. Those precious minutes should be spent with my children. As a working mother, five minutes to read a book or play superheros with my son or make faces, sing or say "goo, goo" to my daughter are priceless. This experiment should have focused on that. I know I will from now on.  

Now to make this new post my facebook status...